Elections in Lilliput

 

The goblins in the land of Lilliput take their politics very seriously.

 

They have two grand tribes, the Elves and the Imps, each of which has a leader goblin and a set of Lesser Important Goblins (Ligs). There are also two tiny tribes, the Alterelves and the Lilliput Arians, and a couple of home-grown megalomaniac goblins, one of whom is credited by many Lilliputians to have saved their land from the clutches of the Big Bad Wolf, while the other one dreams of building an empire to repel an invasion of hobgoblins from neighbouring forests.

 

For as long as most Lilliputian goblins can remember, the Elves were the dominant tribe. But now it seems their time may well and truly be up. The Great Leader of Lilliput, Gobbi, has decided spring is the best time for Lilliput to elect its next Great Leader. His main opponent, Gant, the leader of the Imps, feels that after seventeen failed attempts this is his big chance to become the Great Leader of Lilliput. If he fails this time, the Imps will surely replace him by another leader. They are fed up of losing elections.

 

An election in Lilliput is an occasion of great excitement. Both Elves and Imps hold large meetings for their tribes in Lilliput’s largest forest clearings. In these meetings Gobbi says that Gant and the Alterelves are horrid little beasts. Gant on his part says that Gobbi has turned Lilliput into a swamp. Hordes of goblins shout their approval at the affirmations of their respective tribe leaders. They mobilise all their goblin friends and urge them to vote for their leader, since the leader of the other tribe is a horrid little beast and a cannibal. Both Gant and Gobbi say that if they are elected the goblins of Lilliput will not need to work anymore, and free and delicious manna will start to fall around them from the treetops.

 

The Lilliputian goblins’ mobilisation extends far and wide. In forests on the other side of the world there is a mad scramble of Lilliputians to secure a place on a goblinship, which can take them back to their home forest to vote for their tribe leader. Back in Lilliput, they wheel out sick and dying goblins on election day, and tell them for whom to vote. Every vote counts. All goblins affirm very strongly that it’s their sacred duty to vote…

 

…

 

…?

 

…???

 

All???

 

NO!     

 

Some goblins simply don’t bother. They probably prefer to watch pantomime shows from a comfortable seat in the balcony. Irresponsible, ungrateful, selfish goblins that they are. Shame on them.